Blog #3

Kimmel, in his video, wishes to critique the classic idea of the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." The idea that communication between men and women is so difficult to accomplish that we should be from separate planets. He argued that in our society we want to believe there is a fundamental difference between men and women. He explains that this assumptions is complete incorrect and as an average men and women are far more similar than different. The questionnaire about a woman's expectation of a man administered in 1970 and 2005 was interesting to me. It encapsulated a problem I have with male identity with the general assumptions made by these women however correct they may be.
Women were the one's to bring gender to the public eye. Man are still not conditioned to realize the reality of gender in the day to day because we are privileged. The one who is privileged normally does not recognize their privilege. In three generations, the expectations of women have dramatically changed. Some fundamental examples come into play: marriage- women want to be able to balance a family and work life; sexual liberation- more women masturbate and less fake orgasm than 20 years ago. Men must recognize that the world is changing for greater equality, but for that to happen men must be able to broaden or re-define masculinity.
Men have to realize the classic idea of masculinity in America is causing privilege and, in terms of family, making marriages unsuccessful and a health risk. Kimmel states "Nurturing is not some mystical state of being, it is the quantity time, not quality time. The mundane things of raising a family are nurturing. Kimmel addresses two American models for marriage: the passion-romance model and the friendship-partnership model. While passion-romance is based on a sense of poweerlessness, the dynamic that makes a friendship-partnership model is the peer relationship based on respect and equal responsibility of the children.
With respect to Kimmel's argument, I could not be happier with the findings of the sociological research presented in his speech. I was shocked to find such a clear demonstration of how to better every life on this earth through intuitive parenting. It makes a man wonder if men as a whole will be able to accept the diversity we need to the term masculinity. I image a war of the sexes if men do not understand the privilege they have before them to balance power between all people. A quote from Johnson's "Privilege, Power, and Difference makes me feel what I imagine: "The problem is the same culture of denial and neglect that permeates society as a whole. Little by little, day by day, the struggle to earn a living or a degree and maintain a sense of dignity and self-worth in the face of one sign after another that they don't really matter or belong wears people down, sapping morale and draining talent" (p. 65).
When I think of the American sense of what it is to be a real man, I feel trapped and isolated. The definition of masculinity is a problem while I am not the cliche male. Kimmel ends the speech by saying, "Feminism is the first time where men finally get to be free." I really hope so because I honestly get depressed by the man people expect me to be and what I want to be while being a man all the same.